Fast F***: Great uses of the dirtiest word in movies
Before I begin this blog, I’d just like to acknowledge that yes, I do appreciate the irony of censoring the swear words in a blog that criticises the film industry’s penchant for cutting back on swearing, but SUSU is a swear-free website and I respect that. Anyway, let’s begin.
We at Union Films fully endorse family friendly movies. The thought of any type of potentially corruptive material in any of the films we show makes us shudder. Which is why you will NEVER see anything rated higher than a 12A shown in our cinema!
I’m joking, of course. My fake moral diatribe against swearing was brought on by a Union Films-wide hatred for the arbitrary rule set by the MPAA (America’s film rating system) that in order to be rated PG-13 (i.e. America’s equivalent of the 12A), films are restricted to just one use of the F-word. If they have any more than that, then they’re slapped with an R rating (equivalent to 15 or sometimes 18), which is often seen as the box office death sentence for most films, especially the higher-budget blockbuster.
Though the rule makes no sense whatsoever, I suppose that the studios’ pandering to the rule does (most of the time; the PG-13 re-release of The King’s Speech that edited out the famous, hilarious and brilliant swearing scene still leaves a sour taste). After all, the films have to make money, and cutting out half the audience by including a few swear words isn’t going to do the studios any favours. Most PG-13 blockbusters don’t even bother using their one f***, such is their desire to pander to family audiences (meanwhile, the Joker killing someone by slamming their face into an upright pencil flies by with nary a raised eyebrow, but that’s a topic for another blog). Some films still do, however, and recently I’ve noticed that a great deal of them are using their one F-word in the best possible way, creating some memorable and even iconic moments, rather than casually slipping it into a line of dialogue and moving swiftly on like it never happened. Let’s have a look at some of them, shall we?
Fast Five: A recent showing at Union Films, and containing the swear moment that inspired this blog post, Fast Five caps off one of the most awesome character introductions in recent memory by having Agent Hobbs, played by The Rock, demanding two things of his Brazilian task force: a translator, and for the police to “STAY THE F*** OUT OF MY WAY.” It’s a terrific moment and, if you weren’t convinced on how badass this shiny building of a man can be, really seals the deal.
X-Men: First Class: Bit of a cameo spoiler here, so apologies in advance. All the X-Men films have been rated PG-13, but First Class is the first one to use its one f***, and it couldn’t have used it any better, with Xavier and Lensherr approaching the one and only Wolverine to try and recruit him to their team. They’re met with a dismissive and unexpected “Go f*** yourself” by the grouchy metal mutant and quickly sent on their way. They couldn’t have picked a better character to use the one f*** with, and it’s one of the standout bits of a film packed with memorable moments.
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy: “Go f*** yourself, San Diego”. One of the only movies I can think of where the swear word actually moves the plot along, and it’s brilliant.
Planes, Trains and Automobiles: Okay, I’m cheating a bit here. Planes, Trains… was in fact an R-rated film, owing to the fact that the f-word is used 18 times in total. The film warrants inclusion here, however, because were it not for just one scene in the film, the movie probably would have been rated PG. It’s the scene when Steve Martin’s tired, frustrated and downtrodden family man finally makes it back to the airport after he’s left stranded without a rental car. He launches into a profanity-laden tirade against the well-meaning but incredibly irritating stewardess, and it’s one of the funniest parts of the movie (just listen to the bitterness in Steve Martin’s voice – it’s hilarious). It’s capped off by an absolutely perfect “You’re f***ed” response from the sweet, sunshine-vomiting lady behind the counter. The fact that everything leading up to this point has been relatively family friendly makes the scene all the sweeter. Ah, the days when Steve Martin was funny…
There are tonnes of other brilliant uses of the f-word in PG-13 films, but in the interest of not turning this blog post into a full blown essay, I’m going to leave it at that. If you know of any great sweary moments, feel free to comment! I’ll leave you with the worst use of the one f*** in a PG-13 movie:
Die Hard 4.0: “Yippee-ki-yay, motherf-*GUNSHOT*!”
Sigh.
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